I Love Sneezing!

Yep. The last thing you'll ever see me do is stifle a sneeze. The only one reason I would ever do something like that is if I have a mouthful of food or drink. Obviously that would not be pretty...

To me, sneezing is almost like an orgasm. But it's like an orgasm that you can do any place, any time... And people will even bless you for it! At least with a sneeze I can have a multiple of something. I guess I should feel lucky that I usually sneeze in twos. On a rare occasion I may get three or even more. That's like winning the sneeze lottery! My mom said the day I left the hospital after being born I sneezed two times the instant the sunlight hit my face. That still happens.

Sometimes I'll find myself with a little bit of a tickle in my nose and I'll finesse it--Inducing it into a sneeze by using the perfect velocity of breathing to get to the trigger point. For those of you that have ever played in band in school, it's very similar to a reed instrument like a clarinet or saxophone (which I played, but that's strictly coincidence). The air you blow into the mouthpiece makes the reed vibrate and it produces sound. In my case however, the "reed" gives me a nasal orgasm.

Sometimes the split second during a good sneeze may be the best you'll feel all day long!

There can, however, occasionally be a downside to a good sneeze. The obvious one that comes to mind would be those times when you can't quite get to that handkerchief or Kleenex in time. Especially if you're sick.

Another downside of sneezing is simply where the sneeze occurs. What you're doing, or the company you're in at the time of a sneeze can really alter the natural course of events that might have taken place had the sneeze(s) never occurred. You know what I mean... Job interview, first date, gynecologist exam, --The list goes on and on.

The real downside of a sneeze is a sneezed-caused trauma--When you actually hurt yourself in some way. I can remember one time when I sneezed while I was walking and hurt myself. As I recall I had a big sneeze just when I was stepping off a curb, and that resulted in a pulled back/side muscle. I'm serious. I think it hurt me for a few days. The more common sneeze trauma may sound more weird (which pretty much fits me doesn't it?) but really is much more common. That is when your tongue ends up getting a "nip" from your teeth during a good sneeze. I think it's like your tongue kind of ricochets and ends up in the bite zone at just the wrong instant. You have to admit, a sneeze can only be voluntary up to a point, and after that there's no telling what kind of contraction or chain reaction you might set loose. I've heard stories of some people peeing their pants (or even worse) during a good sneeze.

You know one thing that I find awkward about sneezing? The official "blessing of the sneeze" that you're supposed to administer when someone sneezes. I'm not religious at all, so my only choice really is to say gesundheit. What should a person say in that instance? Sometimes I say something like "whoa!" and sometimes I just let it go.

Yep, I really like sneezing.