A Fond Farewell to Good Times

It has been a great year. It has been a year filled with love and fun experiences. A year of Harley trips, picture-taking, hot-tubbing--So many things have been shared between us during the year that Suzie and I have been together.

It all came to a teary end last night when Suzie and I parted ways.

She gave up a lot when we started seeing each other. It is a requirement of the Jehovah's Witnesses to be shunned by members when they court someone that is not of The Truth. Even their friends and relatives are not supposed to interact. For obvious reasons, one can't cut off contact with their own children--Especially when they live in the same house. While she was, of course, still in full contact with all her offspring, there was some tension here and there. While she knew the rules and was aware of the consequences of her actions, she was smacked upside the head by love and plodded forth.

I know it was mutual, but I can't help but feel guilty for allowing "us" to happen. Like any romance nothing is certain. It takes time, exploration, and learning to know if two people really love each other and can share their lives together. Why the guilty feelings? Because she can't just "go back" to the way things were. She has to go through some totally stupid (my opinion, but it's a strong one nevertheless) process of being reinstated or whatever they call it. She has been unable to associate with any of her friends from within all year, and now will have to wait possibly that long again until such time as she is once again a Witness. The politics of religion are denying her the ability to seek the comfort she needs at a time when she needs it most. It makes me mad.

Our parting was on good terms. While we still love each other very much and want to remain friends, we both reluctantly agreed that we would probably not be able to live with each other. Is it really wise to try to make it work when it doesn't just "flow"? When you are 50+ years old, you have your way of doing things. We were each surprised at how easily we found ourselves offended when our methods or choices where challenged. Each of us had things about the other that we knew from the beginning that we tried to adapt to. For example, I knew of her being a Witness and knew of the potential difficulties of us being together but I went forth because it was hers. She wasn't comfortable with nudism or Harley riding but tasted them because they were mine. Some things we both excelled at mutually like photography. I'm really, really going to miss that one. Maybe we can still do that on occasion. After all, I'm still keeping our Smugmug pictures site up and running.

Why it happened to come to a head on the last day of the year was strangely coincidental. It's as if our time was up: "Deal, or No Deal?" Like any breakup it was painful. After all, we have had a lot of really great times together. While Suzie's tears flowed freely last night, she was confused because mine did not. I was like a deer in headlights. Sad, frustrated, helpless, and confused, I didn't know why I was seemingly blank. I told her it must be a male thing--I couldn't really explain it any other way.

Apparently my system has a delayed response. My tears didn't flow until I was writing this...