Off The Market?

Here I am, divorced for two years and I seem to have found myself in love. It's something I never thought I'd encounter. It's not that I never thought I'd be in love with anyone, it's how in love I seem to be. When you're over a half century old it seems weird to be head over heels in love with somebody. It's not the "in love" part that that seems weird, it's the "head over heels" part. You think it only happens to school kids.

I keep telling myself, "It's just the newness of it--It will calm down after a little while." So hmm... Maybe so, but what if it's been a few weeks and it's still getting stronger? That would seem to be a pretty good indication that it's not to be taken lightly. I worry about myself because I know how I am--Going hot and heavy on something new and then all of a sudden being totally burned out on it.

So who is this person?

You may have figured it out already. She goes by Sue but I like to call her Suzie. She was the first person I laid eyes on the day I went to apply for my job at La Croix Industries, but that is coincidental. She has been their office administrator for several years, doing a million things to keep the company running smoothly. I have always liked her, but obviously it was purely from from a friendship standpoint back then. After all, I was married when I got the job there. I do know that I have always enjoyed talking to her, and I felt that we had a sort of a bond even back in my first years with the company. I never thought I'd be sitting here telling all of these current developments to the world though!

She has been divorced for about 10 years, and is mother to four boys and one girl, as well as grandma to 3 kids. She is a strong woman and brought her kids up well on her own. We are compatible in so many areas it's spooky. She's smart, pretty, funny, energetic, passionate, and so many other things. She is not afraid to tackle a home improvement just because she's never done it before. She owns her own home East of Auburn about 15 minutes away. As I have stated before, she is a member of Jehovah's Witnesses (the crowd gasps).

Can it work? Can someone like myself coexist in her world? Can she coexist in mine? I would be first to admit that I'm a little rough around the edges, but I'm basically sound. I have been known to cuss a blue streak, and I'm a non-believer in any religion--In other words, I do almost everything wrong in that regard. There are so many issues that scare me. She assures me that they (Witnesses) are the most misunderstood religious group out there, and it can indeed work. You know what? It could be interesting.

I still have thoughts about pledging myself to someone. Do I really want a steady woman in my life? I keep telling myself that I like being single, but yet I seem to keep "reaching out" and always wanting to meet new people. I think I like living in solitude but yet I keep doing things that are counterproductive to that notion. I find the whole thing scary but at the same time I'm so consumed by it. She dominates all my thoughts. I find myself doing something at work and the next second thinking about her in some way. My thoughts are constantly derailed by Suzie sneaking into them. I have those moments while driving where you can't remember a single detail of the last several minutes of your drive--Functioning on autopilot so to speak. She is going through exactly the same thing in her day-to-day activities. Neither of us can get each other out of our minds.

Or lives at work are interesting and fun. Catching each other's eye across the room with a knowing smile, passing love notes, and enjoying the fact that nobody around us knows (yet). My cubicle is the right outside the door to the inner offices, and I'll find myself looking up almost every time the door opens, hoping it might be Suzie.

People may have wondered why my blog posts have waned significantly in the last few weeks. Well, now you know why. A lot has been going on in our lives in the last few weeks, and I was hesitant write about it. At the same time, it dominated so many of my daily thoughts and activities that if I didn't write about it, I had little to write about.

Man, I've got it bad.