Waking Up

Okay, this is a weird thing... And it sounds like something that would come from my odd little mind...

I woke up this morning in the same state as I do most mornings. I lay there for a while thinking about it, and I tried analyze why it is that guys wake up with woodies. What the hell is that about? Is it something built-in that's designed to keep us in bed for while longer? Is it designed to keep us from accidentally rolling out of bed?

I'm not a dreamer for the most part. I wish I was--I feel I'm missing out. Maybe I dream every night and just don't remember them--I don't know. Sure, occasionally I may have a dream I can remember. It seems like the only time I do remember them is when I wake up and then go back to sleep for no more than about a half hour before the alarm goes off. But the point is, none of the dreams that I can recall having are ever erotic dreams, so why a morning woody? Sure, sometimes I wake up and have to pee right away, but sometimes not. The state of my bladder seems to have no bearing on it either.

I lay there this morning wondering if it's another of our body's system checks. You know? Like when all of a sudden you get a ringing in your ear that tapers in... Plays for a minute... Then tapers back out. Someone at the control panel in your brain logs in on the clipboard and says, "Left ear checks out okay at 14,000 hertz." Then he gets on the intercom and hollers out, "You boys down in the penis section, don't forget--It's the weekend, so your scheduled firmness check isn't until 5:14 tomorrow morning."

Can't you just see that? It's like one of our self-diagnostics... A "check engine" light if you will.

What it kind of makes me worry about is this: What about those few mornings I wake up without a hardon? Does that mean I had a system failure? Ohmygod...

I'd better enjoy them while I can.