Ho Hum

So, today is Valentine's Day. Yawn.

It's never been high on my list. I guess partly because I'm not a romantic, and partly because to me it's just another forced day of spending. Don't get me wrong--I like spending money--I just don't like days when the whole world feels obligated to spend money that day. Those days are all part of the Hallmark conspiracy. I'll stop and buy Sarah a card, and put a note in it good for a dinner at Red Lobster.

I used to really like it way back in elementary school though. Everyone in the class had the little "mailbox" things over on the one side of the classroom set up exclusively for Valentine's Day. It was required that everyone get one from everyone. I remember thinking back then how good of a thing it was emotionally to those kids that were treated worse than others. You know, the poor ones with bad clothes, the fat ones.... Whatever the reason. I remember getting a good feeling when I made them Valentines. I was too young to know that I was walking a fine line between condescending and philanthropy, but to this day I remember it as a warm, neighborly, "feelgood" time.

My trusty little red Neon that I bought back in June of 1994 clings to me yet, but no thanks to the repair estimate. The damages come to about $2100 and the little car isn't worth more than probably $1200.

Now I wait for the insurance people to call me and present me with my options. From where I sit, I only see them presenting me with three choices:

1. Take the settlement they offer me and get another car
2. Take the settlement they offer and buy my Neon back from them
3. Do nothing and go after the guy that hit me myself for full repairs

I'm not an "ambulance chaser" and I don't need money bad enough to hit them with a heavy lawsuit. Besides, they cost money. I would, however, like to get my car completely repaired and get a few hundred extra for my time. I don't think there's much reason to go for anything punitive. The whole experience was probably pain enough if the guy and/or his insurance is going to end up shouldering the bills for 3 cars.

I hate this kind of shit.

Quality Time

Sarah called me up after work yesterday and goaded me into going over to the high school to play tennis with her. I had been home long enough to have a couple beers, so I was a little concerned that I was going to embarrass myself. She needed practice to get ready for tennis season, and tryouts are in two weeks I think she said. By the time we got over there, it was the final hour of daylight.

I was surprised--I played pretty well! Although I've never been much of an athlete, I understand the mechanics of all of them. I can hit a baseball fine and things like that. Well, maybe tennis would have been something I could have done well at in school... Who knows. I think the advantage I have is the fact that my arms are so damn long. I was returning shots that were quite a stretch. I also had some killer serves. I was a little concerned with how I might be affected by my age and lack of aerobic exercise, but I did fine. I even joined her for a lap around the court afterward. If we go tonight, maybe I'll run two of them, as one didn't really affect me. No weird pains or aches this morning either. I think this will be a good thing for both of us to do regularly.

It's a good thing that Sarah requested some practice, because she needs to get "it" back. She was struggling to hit even the most basic shots--All of them hitting her racket in the wrong spot. I told her that it was because she had grown since last season, and her arms were longer than they were last year. It's true I'm sure--All of her flubs were hitting the racket too close to the handle instead of in the sweet spot. She was pretty frustrated, but she was starting to get it back toward the end. I told her I had the advantage because my lanky arms have been this long for over 30 years, therefore I know where everything reaches to.

In other news, here's more on the car accident: I have to say, Hartford has impressed me as an insurance company for their "hands on" approach. I got a phone call from them at work today (which I chose not to return due to time constraints) and when I got home after dropping Sarah off from school, there was a message on my machine from them as well. After called the lady back, we went through a question and answer coverage of all the details of the accident which she recorded as we went. She then punched my address into their network of body shops, and told me of one right nearby called Auburn Collision. I told her that would be fine and I'd take it there today after work for an estimate. Evidently, they are all on a network of some kind, and as soon as they do the damage estimate and punch my VIN number in from the car (the VIN holds all the car's options and equipment information in it's coded format) into their system, it tells right away whether the car is considered totaled or not. She also said there's really no reason to contact the driver that caused the accident--They would take care of that. She also assured me that from an insurance standpoint, it was not a chargeable accident to me. (Whether my rates go up remains to be seen...) After I hung up the phone, I got a call from Auburn Collision a few minutes later, and a very pleasant lady welcomed me to their business, telling me how much they were looking forward to serving me. The whole thing so far has been very proactive. I like that.

I'll find out today whether or not my car is totaled. If it is (I'm pretty sure it will be) I'll probably buy it back from them. After all, I know the whole car's history since we bought it new. I did some engine work on it one summer ago and it has brand new tires on it. It gets excellent mileage and it's fun to drive.

Also, now that it's dented it's achieved true commuter car status.

Sunday Morning

I spent a little while out in the garage yesterday. I should have been working on the Harley, but instead had to work on the little car. A person kind of wonders how much you should or shouldn't touch when there has still been no monetary estimate that has taken place yet. Some things had to be addressed though:

1. One front turn signal bulb was out and that needed to be replaced.
2. The front license plate was hanging by one screw and needed to be reattached.
3. Both front parking lights mountings were (still are of course) broken and needed to be duct-taped into place. The lenses are still mostly intact.
4. The rear bumper cover was torn loose. I had to take that almost completely off to get the mounts back into place to reattach it.

At least now it's fine and I can get on with things.

I did some laundry and some other general things around the house that needed to be done as well. I had just put a homemade dish of Au Gratin potatoes in the oven when my friend Greg stopped in. He wanted to take me out for pizza and beer, so I told him we were going to have to let the potatoes finish cooking beforehand. We ended up at Round Table Pizza and had a pretty good visit. I don't get to see him as often as I used to, so it's good to play "catch up" every now and then.

Teresa's brother will stop by this afternoon and pick up the computer of his (his daughters' actually) that I've had here for a couple weeks. It needed a new motherboard, but fortunately for him I had one in the closet that I just would have probably "sat on" and never used again anyway. I also told him he would have to take the old case it was in too, which oddly enough is identical to his. I guess we bought them both from the same place back then. It will be good to get those out of here, and I'm sure he'll be happy to get his daughters back onto their own computer again.

Anyway, back to my coffee...

When Things Go Wrong

I was having a pretty good day today. My work was going smoothly, feeling fine, happy that it was Friday/payday...

What could go wrong?

I was on my way to pick Sarah up from school. I had just left my bank a few miles back and was about halfway to her school. I stopped at a red light behind a guy that was already stopped, and I looked in my rear view mirror just in time to see a guy look up from whatever he was doing and BAM! I doubt if he even got slowed down from 35 before he hit.

Because I was in the middle, the back of my car and the front of my car both got fucked up. It's drivable, but it has plenty of problems. I was so pissed. I'm still pissed, but what can I do, right? Might as well accept the fact that today was my day. At least my airbags didn't deploy like the stupid fuck that hit me.

It ended up being a 3-vehicle accident, and it was a busy 4-lane (with a turn lane in the middle) thoroughfare. Although the guy that hit us wanted to trade information and speed things up, me and the guys in front of me said no... We were going to wait for the police. The guy that hit me was a pretty young guy... Maybe 20 or so, but he was dressed nice in a white shirt and slacks, so he was either on the way home from work or going to work. The problem was it was his girlfriend's car, and he had no idea if she had insurance on it or not. It's always hard to tell, but he seems to be a decent kid. His dad showed up after a while, and he too seemed like a decent guy. I called Sarah and told her what was going on and to try and find an alternate ride home. After a while the cops showed up and filled out the report. It was very plain that the guy caused the whole thing and the cop acknowledged as much.

I got a call from Sarah and she told me she had a ride home, so that was good. I stopped by their house on the way home so Sarah and Teresa could see my poor little car. They are gearing the house up for a belated birthday party for Sarah tonight. I hope it goes well. When I got home I called my insurance company and gave them all the info (while I was pounding a beer down of course).

You know what the bitch of the whole thing is? I had just switched lanes not even a block prior to that.

If only...

Catching Up

Yes, here I go again... Too busy (or lazy) to post in my blog again. A lot has been going on around here lately, and I'll try to recap it without being too long-winded.

First of all, a milestone event went by me last week, and I didn't even acknowledge it. My 1-year anniversary of living here! Yes, the first of this month marked one year since I moved out on my own and started a major lifestyle change. I'm sure I should have had a party, but I didn't. Oh well.

I started in sanding on my Harley's gas tanks. It's a lot of tedious work, and I was reminded why I hate doing body work on cars and stuff. I took a bunch of "before" pictures as I took it apart. I need to spend some serious time updating my Harley website when this is finished. I haven't done an update on it for ages. Evidently, Steve decided he should be changing his Harley too, because he's buying some hard fiberglass bags to replace his leather saddlebags, and he's shopping for dual pipes to replace his 2-into-1 single pipe. The difference between he and I though is that he spends money to get his done. I try not to.

Rhon was here visiting over the weekend, and that was fun. We seem to have a pretty good time hanging out together. If only she did body work on Harleys... ;-) Thanks for the brontosaurus steaks, Rhonda.

I went "wireless" in my house! I bought a nice little Netgear wireless router the other day off a guy on Craigslist, and it also came with a matching PC card to plug into my garage computer. $50 for both of them was a pretty good deal. I finally got the garage computer working with it's new wireless setup last night. So now I have my main computer here still "wired" and both my laptop and the garage computer can both access the web via their wireless connections. They seem to work great!

A lot of things have been happening at work lately. We've been gearing up for new equipment that the company bought. They spent big money and bought 3 new CNC machines, so we've been having to do a major amount of wiring, plumbing, and rearranging to make room for them all. So far one of them is in now, and I believe the other two of them are due to be delivered next week. Busy, busy. I told Bruce the other day when they were setting the first of them into place, "Well, there goes our $8 Christmas ham next year."

Adios.

The Return of the Welder

Yep, my welder came home yesterday after being gone for many a month. Although my garage is now too full because of the stack (at least it's a neat stack) of heavy duty oak firewood pallets, it's complete again. Yes, it's good to have everything back under one roof.

Dan was my best friend back in high school days, and it was good to visit with him. There aren't too many people I would trust things like my welder with, but he's definitely on the good list. He showed his appreciation by having the argon gas bottle refilled before bringing it back, and that runs about 50 bucks. He was here for a couple hours last night, and we had a good time yakking our heads off and trying to play "catch up."

I stopped by Denis' house (that's my youngest brother) Sunday evening to get his input on my Harley project. He set me up with a few supplies and some great advice. He's a painter and body man here in town, and he knows his trade pretty well. The way I am I would just as soon let him actually do the whole thing, but I don't want him to think I was that lazy...

There is interesting stuff happening at work these days. My supervisor is our general handyman/repairman as well as various supervisory duties, and I'm his right hand man. The two of us work really well together and have a good time doing projects. Our shop is gearing up to have 3 big machines newly installed in the upcoming two months, and Bruce and I are doing all the electrical modifications and installations to get ready for them. Yesterday flew by. It seemed like every time I looked at my watch it was break time.

I hope all week is that fun.

MIA: Renter's Pride

If it's not missing, it sure seems to be. I think the general feeling among renters is, "The landlord maintains the grounds, so why should I care about it?"

As is typical of winter, more and more crap has been blowing around in people's yards. Some of it probably comes from recycling/garbage day when lids blow off of cans or when not all of the stuff makes it into the truck when they pour it. Some of it probably comes from litterbugs in general. The end result is the same though--The street in front of my place looked like shit. I would drive home and see crap strewn all over the street, sidewalks, lawns, and in shrubbery. Most litter seems to be a stark contrast to its surroundings too--Either white, or yellow--And therefore seems to stand out like a sore thumb.

I finally couldn't take it any more. I was out in the garage working on the Harley yesterday morning with the garage door open, and it got to me. I grabbed a bucket and went all around my place and up and down the street picking up everything that didn't belong. What a difference. I doubt if it even took me 15 minutes to do it all. I hope everyone saw me doing it, but I know if they did they probably just thought, "It's about time."

I went out to work on the Harley, but before I really got motivated to do that, I got sidetracked onto another path: Setting up my garage computer. Garage computer!? Yep, it was running at my old house too, and it's sole task was running mp3's through a receiver as my personal jukebox. So I scrounged around and got all the stuff together, ran the speaker wires, and got it all set up. It was good to have my music back.

Another thing that helped me work on the Harley was my kerosene heater. I've got one of those big round ones that is (I think) 22,000 btu. I almost sold it last month, certain that I'd probably never use it again. I'm glad I didn't. Even though it was sunny yesterday after the fog burned off, it was cold. With that heater in the middle of the garage, it was warm even with the big door open.

Garage, Harley, music, kerosene heater, lots of beer... Yep, it was a good day.

The Saturday Morning Report

I was getting Sarah's birthday presents wrapped before going over to their house for dinner yesterday when the doorbell rang. There stood one of those DHL men, dressed in their yellow and red garb, with a puffy envelope package for me. It turns out that it was a t-shirt from Mark and Dana! It was black (I like black) and was the right size, and it said "I (heart) NY" on it. Pretty cool of him to think of me during their trip to New York over Christmas. That was quite a surprise.

Having dinner over at Sarah and Teresa's is better than old times actually, because everyone treats each other like host and guest. No bickering is always good, and a good roast beef outta the crock pot certainly is a good thing too!

I felt kind of disappointed in Teresa when I saw what she got Sarah for her birthday. The few things Sarah opened from her were jewelry items that she had bought who-knows-how-long-ago at some clearance sale or something. Sarah didn't miss a beat on that either, saying something like, "Mom, these are just things you bought on clearance somewhere." The justification for it was that Teresa had already told her that completely redoing her bedroom was her birthday present. Come on T... How hard is it to spend a couple bucks for something fun?

I didn't spend much money on her, but she got some pretty fun things. She really enjoyed her electronic Sudoku game and her Pirate's Dice game. We played a few rounds of that until my parents showed up. My dad was in an "okay" mood, but his constant repeating of things is getting even worse. I also bought Sarah a tub of special Tillamook ice cream for herself. Teresa made a German chocolate flat cake, and I brought a cheesecake, so we had good birthday eats. The cheesecake could have been better though--It had a pronounced cinnamon flavor emanating from the crust, which in my opinion overshadowed the flavor of the New York cheesecake on top of it. Oh well. I did get to take a piece of cake home with me, which is good.

I mentioned in yesterday's blog about how I had put my website files on a new web space provider? Well, here's what was in my email when I got home from work yesterday:

Hello guys..

I'm sorry to say that we'll be shutting down all of websites
Due to heavy volumes of account. This doesn't mean cjb.cc will be completely gone. It means from now on, cjb.cc will only take paying members due to spam and abuse. You guys will have less than 24 hours to back up your website and the server will be upgraded to Xeon Dual core server, which should be very reliable.

Just like before, we'll offer $3 a month or $30 a year plan on new Xeon Dual core server (server upgrade). If you guys are interested, please wait until we get our new server ready, which will take another 2 days.

We'll announce the specification of membership

If you guys are interested in paying membership, which will not going to have down time. Please visit us at cjb.cc in two days or so. We'll make an announcement forum.

For current paying member, we give out free membership for a month.

If you paid for a year, pleaes let me know

Thank you for supporting cjb.cc, I really appreciate it.

I guess I timed that one pretty good didn't I? What a flake. Obviously a geek that didn't finish his business classes in college... He's also not very good at typing and spelling (I just copied and pasted it verbatim).

A 16-Year Old Daughter Today!

Yes, it's true, but it doesn't seem quite as alien as I thought it would. To have a daughter old enough to drive doesn't make me feel any different. For some people it makes them feel old. It does, however, make me nervous. I hate to put my only daughter out there in a driving environment. I know it's part of cutting them loose, but nowadays it's a little bit "sink or swim" as far as driving goes. I don't have to worry about it much yet though because she doesn't have her license, nor is she quite ready for it. She just doesn't get quite enough driving in.

I hoped to have found her a car by today so I could wrap the keys up in a box and give it to her amongst her other presents, but alas that wasn't meant to be I guess. I've found a few great deals, but for one reason or another, they made me uncomfortable and I didn't pursue them any further. Gut feelings mean a lot to me on deals with used goods.

I have my personal website on the world wide web in multiple places. Why? They're all free web space providers, and all are subject to "here today, gone tomorrow." My current favorite provider has been getting more and more flakey lately, and the young geek that owns it recently announced that he was close to broke and would have to start putting ads on everyone's websites. Screw that. The guy actually bought the whole website on Ebay if you can believe that. At any rate, I don't think it's long for this world so I went out and found a new one last night. As of now my new main website is http://rick1956.110mb.com/ I changed it over to the right here ---> in my "links" section already, so make sure you change it in your favorites if you have any reason to ever visit it. It sounds like a much better place, and it's owned and operated by a big outfit so it shouldn't disappear overnight like some of them do.

I've got my Harley torn apart out in the garage. Nothing broken, just doing some changes and updating and repairing a few things. I've got my friend Dan bringing my welder back after him having it for his 1970 GTO restoration project for almost a year. I'll be needing it to repair the rear fender that I have off. It's going to get a few mounting holes welded up, and it has a few "age cracks" around a couple of the bolt holes that need repairing. I'm also going to be painting the whole bike semi-gloss black. I just want a new look. I ordered some new gas tank emblems last night too, reproductions of the exact ones used on the 59-60 Harleys. I like their look. I think I'll put the new front fender on it that I've had in my possession for a few years. It's brand new and has never had any paint on it yet. The reason I bought it is that it has no holes in it at all. I will be taking lots of emblems and things off the bike during this time. I want it to look clean and mean. It should have a quite a new look when I'm finished.

What a Fool

I can't believe I can't even keep my daughter's birthday straight. I even have it right on my computer desktop calendar program... Staring right at me. For some reason, I kept thinking tomorrow the 21st was her birthday. Duh, I know her birthday is the 26th, so I don't know why I kept thinking that the 21st was her day. The only thing I can think of is that her birth year was 91 and I got the "1" stuck in my head.

At any rate, I didn't embarrass myself or anything, thank goodness.

I went over there today and was going to take her somewhere to eat dinner or something like that, and some how or another talk got around to her birthday. Teresa made a comment about how many days she had left or something like that and it set me straight. Anyway, Sarah and I bummed around for a while today. We went to a few junk stores, ate at Wendy's (it was next door to one of them) and finished up the evening by stopping in at Pier One Imports. We had a good time.

I spent much of the late morning and early afternoon out in the garage tearing my Harley apart. I was in the process or doing some lighting & wiring updates and changes. One thing led to another and I ended up taking the rear fender off. I started by taking the light off the tip of the rear fender, and that left a few unsightly mounting holes. Then I took off the bar that holds the rear turn signals, and it really looked bad under that, so I decided that I would fill some of the mount holes in and paint it before putting it back on. I'll try to take my time and do a nice job on everything.

Little Things

I was reminded again yesterday morning on the way to work how significant little things can be. All I did was put new wipers on my car, but it brought me pleasure.

God that sounds pathetic.

I still can't find myself into the writing groove. I am going to blame winter for it. I don't know if it's the lack of heat, the lack of sun (for sunbathing and Harley riding) or just the plain lack of daylight hours. Whatever the reason, I'm holding the season in general to blame.

This year we experienced more snow around here than we have in recent memory, but the most recent one has pretty much finally melted away. You know what? It's funny how people are about snow around here. "Cool, we might get snow!" "Wow, I hope we get snowed in tomorrow morning!" "I love the snow--It makes everything look so beautiful!" You get the picture... A few days later though, and things change. Let them experience the slippery roads, the stuck or wrecked cars, the school closures, the falling down on sidewalks, and the disruption to their lives in general, and it's more like, "I can't wait for this shit to melt." "I hope it never snows again." "I can't wait for summer."

I'm very pissed about whatever they've been deicing our roads with this year though. My truck has surface rust over every square inch of any bare metal now, and both it and the car have horribly streaked and nasty paint now. Who knows what kind of stuff might be in that crap? We have a lot of rivers around here that all our drain water runs off into, and what is the stuff doing to them? I wrote a Letter to the Editor of the Seattle Times last night about that very subject. I hate that stuff. We've existed here on just sand for decades... Why change now?

Sunday is Sarah's 16th birthday. I have some small gifts for her, but what kinda worries me is that when pressed, she doesn't know what she wants to do for her birthday. Does that mean that she wants me or her mom to surprise her with a party? Does that mean she wants a party but doesn't know how to have one without parental interference? Should I host one here? I'm so confused. I'm a little late to be coming up with this sort of pondering, but it does bother me. After all, a 16th birthday only happens once. Evidently nothing of consequence happened on my 16th other than my driver's license or I would have remembered it.

Over a Week?!

That's how long it's been since I last posted? Wow, what a slacker. Thinking back on the last week, I think that's a truthful statement too--I just slacked off.

There hasn't been a single bit of real news to report with the exception of our snow. Yes, as odd as it is, we actually got snow here the night before last. I think the amount here was almost 4 inches, which is substantial. Being in a valley it seems like snow usually passes us over for hills on either side. Usually they don't even get any. For people that don't know our geography, they probably think it's weird that being as far North as we are that we don't usually get any, but it has to do with our proximity to the water here. It keeps our winters and summers both somewhat temperate. We've got unseasonable cold weather here right now, and I'm making use of the block heater in my truck again. Love that instant warm air when I start it!

I've had a lot of little things this week, but none of them rated much more than a passing nod, such as:

• I brought home a stack of firewood pallets and put them in the garage, now I have to cut them up.
• I've cut back on my movie downloading. I'm still not ready to be "turned off" by Comcast yet.
• Teresa's dad just left for a month in Hawaii with his ladyfriend. Lucky bastard.
• I ordered some new tiny turn signals for the front of the Harley.
• I got tired of my goatee and trimmed most of it off. Now I have a mustache and a soul patch.
• I finally remembered to call about my voter's registration. Yep, they did have my address wrong.

See? Not much going on anyway. I don't know if it's winter blahs or what, but I haven't even had anything philosophical or rhyming to blog about.

I hope things pick up. At least it's Friday.

Comcast Drops the Hammer

I just got an interesting call on the phone. It seems that my account was "flagged" for excess bandwidth. Sure, I know I use a lot of bandwidth... That's no surprise. What surprised me though was the fact that according to the errand boy that called me, I'm supposed to "cut back drastically" (his words) to avoid another flag. If I am flagged again, my account will be automatically terminated for 12 months. As much as I pressed him for more details, or a concrete number, or even another person's phone number he just kept repeating himself.

WTF?

The problem here is one of judgment. Nowhere does their Acceptable Use Policy actually give a number to use as an "excessive use" limit. I pressed and pressed and he could not come up with any sort of number either. What that means is, even if I think I've cut back enough in the certain time frame, they may not. Poof. According to junior, my bandwidth usage was 281 gigabytes last month. Okay, sure... That's a lot. but even if I halve it, it's still a lot. Would that be enough? Who knows.

Here's the applicable part of their Acceptable Use Policy:

Network, Bandwidth, Data Storage and Other Limitations

Comcast may provide versions of the Service with different speeds and bandwidth usage limitations, among other characteristics, subject to applicable Service plans. You shall ensure that your use of the Service does not restrict, inhibit, interfere with, or degrade any other user's use of the Service, nor represent (in the sole judgment of Comcast) an overly large burden on the network. In addition, you shall ensure that your use of the Service does not restrict, inhibit, interfere with, disrupt, degrade, or impede Comcast's ability to deliver and provide the Service and monitor the Service, backbone, network nodes, and/or other network services.

You further agree to comply with all Comcast network, bandwidth, and data storage and usage limitations. You shall ensure that your bandwidth consumption using the Service does not exceed the limitations that are now in effect or may be established in the future. If your use of the Service results in the consumption of bandwidth in excess of the applicable limitations, that is a violation of this Policy. In such cases, Comcast may, in its sole discretion, terminate or suspend your Service account or request that you subscribe to a version of the Service with higher bandwidth usage limitations if you wish to continue to use the Service at higher bandwidth consumption levels.

I know... It's my own fault, but dammit, I've been doing this sort of thing literally for years. Why now? If it happens, I guess I'll get to find out how good or bad DSL is.

Big brother is out there...

Back to School

I picked up Sarah from school yesterday after her first day back from a nice, long Christmas vacation.

I remember how it was back then. The first day back was always a day of comparisons, show-and-tell, bragging, and catching up. For the guys, it's always something like, "What did you get? Cool!" as they told of gadgets or toys they more often than not, were not able to have at school for one reason or another. For girls though, it's a totally different thing. It's like a fashion show.

Evidently, this year's hot item was the jacket that I bought for Sarah. Yes, the one that I had so much trouble getting, and then finally ended up with two of. It seems that, at least at her high school, the Denali jacket from The North Face was the item all the girls wanted. Funny thing--She was the only one that got one. If she was the bragging sort I wouldn't be happy for her, but she's a humble girl. I was very happy with the fact that she got to have some time in the limelight. A single child is always going to be wishing, hoping, and trying to fit in, without having the benefit of an elder sibling to help out with things. I figure if I aided her in one little bit of the teen awkwardness stage, we both gained. I'm happy for her!

I remember how her eyes lit up once when we were shopping--Just she and I. I think she was about 5 or 6 years old. We were in a mall store looking at winter coats for her, and she spied this black one. You could see it in her eyes. When she tried it on she looked like a total angel. It was black soft fabric with a full hood, and had white faux fur around the hood opening. It also had embroidered snowflakes done lightly in white stitching in a small line across the front, just below shoulder level. When she put it on, her face showed it. It was a total match. She was that coat. When I bought it for her, her mother was less than happy--After all, it wasn't a cheap coat. But let me tell you, she loved that coat for the few years she was able to fit into it. She treasured that thing so much. There was no chance of it not ever being taken care of.

History repeats itself.

Gloom

I don't know what puts me in such a funk sometimes, but I certainly was earlier today at work. I wasn't able to post to my blog obviously, but I did write down some of what was going through my head:

"What is it about New Year? People always seem to reflect on things. I'm standing here at work next to a loud press, and I'm hating my life. I'm not sick, but I feel like shit. I feel old... I feel tired. I'm sure it could be residual hangover from my weekend of partying, but I didn't feel this way yesterday, so I doubt it.

Sometimes I ask myself if I should quit drinking, but it's one of the few pleasures I have. But is it really a pleasure? What if I'm exactly like my dad, only I'm masking it with alcohol and he isn't? No, I don't think so. I may have my days of despair, but my head is still clear enough to be analytical. I still have my marbles.

I wonder still, as I have for many years, why I'm here and what I'm doing. I've said before how I thought that people who go to church do so to justify their existence. I also said I didn't need to justify my existence--That I was happy just "being." What if that's not true? I know church will never be in my life because I don't believe in it, but maybe what I'm missing is some sort of spirituality? I doubt if I'll ever know.

I don't know what it is about me. It's kind of like I'm a part-time hermit. Sometimes I want to completely isolate myself from humanity and not talk to anyone. Because that's how I feel this morning, I have been doing my damnedest to avoid everyone just to avoid talking. Other times I crave human interaction, and ironically, those those are the times that I seem to have the most trouble finding anyone to interact with.

Sometimes it's a cruel world."

Fortunately, as the day wore on I felt better. It's a helluva way to start the new year, isn't it? Tomorrow's another day...

Out With The Old... In With The New

It's been quite an eventful year! At this time last year I was still married and living in fear: Fear of the unknown. At this time last year I knew that divorce was right around the corner, but I had no idea what to expect.
I had no way of knowing that:

• I would still be friends with my ex wife (let alone better friends)
• I would still retain almost all my savings and assets
• I would find a nice place within spitting distance of where I used to live
• The next phase of my life would be such a smooth transition

In the old days, the New Year was a time to reflect on good times & hardships, lives lost & babies born, success or failure of crops, health & sickness, and a multitude of other things. It's just a wonder sometimes how much someone's life can change in less that 12 months.
Yep, a lot has happened this last year, and for the most part, all for the better.

I spent a great weekend in Aberdeen, ringing in the New Year with Rhonda and many of her friends and relatives. In abundance were all the good things that go hand-in-hand with family get-togethers: Lots of laughter, good food, good drink, games, stories, and all things that make for fun times. Some of the things we did were planned and others just "happened" but all were great fun.

Thank you Rhon, for including me in your family for the weekend. What a great bunch of people!

It Was Back To Work

Yesterday was the first day back after a pleasant four days off. Fortunately, it was a nice, uneventful day. The beauty part of it was that it's only a 3-day work week! I'm liking that.
Because they "gave" us Tuesday off at work as an "extra" day (of course it was unpaid) they are expecting employees to work 12 hour days for the remainder of the week. I couldn't believe how many were doing it. In at 5am and out at 5:30pm--That's absurd. I still go in at 6am and out at 2:30. Ridiculous.

I guess I may as well back up a few days and cover Christmas.

The high point of my day was going over to Sarah and Teresa's on Christmas morning. I got to be there for the majority of present opening, and also got served a great breakfast. Sarah totally loved her new jacket! After I explained the scenario of the two jackets I bought, we carefully opened them both and compared them. Absolutely identical in every way. I ended up getting (among other things) a couple of nice rugs for my bathrooms, and a shower mat-type rug to step out of the shower onto, and a Monopoly board game. Teresa didn't get anything real fancy--Her list only had a bunch of little things on it. Sarah and I did manage to just about cover it though.

Sarah and I went over to my parents' house at almost noon, and unfortunately had to be the only ones there for over an hour. I ended up getting a set of drill bits that I didn't need, a shot glass that says, "Rick's Bar" on it, and a can of Planters peanuts. It's obvious that they will never get it through their head: NO TOOLS. I don't need any tools, and if I did they wouldn't know which ones I wanted anyway. The whole visit over there was strangely tedious to me this year. I dunno. Now I need to figure out where to take the drills back to. God forbid I should say anything to them about returning them.

When I went home at about 5pm, the day was mostly over. I ended up napping and stuff and basically killing the rest of the evening.

I did go out the next day to try to find a hot killer deal on a Christmas tree for next year, but alas, nothing. I did however, buy myself a 100-pack of blank DVDs. For some reason, nobody bought me any of those. That was something I truly expected to get multiples of. Go figure.

Yesterday I was so busy on the way home from work. I hit Nordstrom's and took the extra jacket back. The gal working at the counter I took it back to said, "Wow, this will be gone in minutes... We have a waiting list for them!" It was totally trouble-free to return it. From there I hit a nearby computer store to pick up a power supply for Teresa's brother's computer that I had here to repair. After coming home, I put that power supply in, then put that computer in my trunk, along with a used power supply I needed to put into Teresa's computer, then drove over to their house. It only took a few minutes to fix T's computer and bring it back to life. After hanging out for a few minutes and watching some of Sarah's new Dane Cook DVD with them, I took off. I made a stop at the local teriyaki place and ordered dinner, then sped off to the public library to pick up three movies that I had on hold, then sped back to pick up the dinner I ordered. Finally back home to stay, I leisurely ate my teriyaki and watch a movie.

Sorry about the diary-type coverage, but I just figured I'd catch my readers up on how mundane my life has actually become. Pretty exciting stuff!

Merry Christmas!

Here it is, my first Christmas as a single person since 1985. It's pretty bare around here. I have a pile of presents for Sarah to take over to her house, but nothing here to open. No lights, no tree, no presents. I do, however, have Christmas music playing on the radio.

Saturday was a good time spent with Sarah. I had stopped by their house earlier in the day to see what kind of pizza she wanted if she was still coming over. She assured me she was, but they still had things to do there. I left and picked up a take-n-bake pizza for each of us at Papa Murphy's. She came over later in the afternoon and we walked across the street to Lowe's and Fred Meyer to do some shopping. We did well, but our main item we wanted at Freddy's was a gingerbread house kit. All sold out. There was a huge pile only a few days earlier. The main reason she was coming over was for the two of us to build a gingerbread house. After going back home, we hopped in the car and went up onto the hill in Kent to another Fred Meyer. Nada. We hit Home Depot while up there too, still picking up a few things for Teresa. On the way home I decided that we may as well try some other avenues for a gingerbread house kit, so we stopped at Top Foods and hit pay dirt. After we grabbed one, we went over to the bulk candy area and added a few more choice decorations to our purchase.

Both of us were starved, so we decided that the first order of business was to eat. We watched the classic Christmas Vacation while we ate. After the movie was done, we started in on the gingerbread house. It's been a few years (maybe three, I'm not sure) since we've put one together, and I had forgotten what a pain in the ass the assembly process is. You have to ensure that your house stays together for the icing/glue to set, then you can do the fun part: The decorating. Note to parents: Assemble your gingerbread house a day or two earlier so it's all ready to go when you want to do the fun part. At any rate, we had a great time, and we got it finished at about 10:30 at night. Teresa was at a friend's house the whole time we were out, and she was going to come by and pick Sarah up on the way home. We got about half of The Polar Express watched before she showed up. It was a good time we had together.

Yesterday was a nice, relaxing day. I got all of my presents wrapped up and piled nicely on my coffee table. At about mid afternoon I decided to get put some clothes on and go out to buy some champagne. (I use Christmas as my once-a-year excuse to drink in the morning.) As I was about to leave, I got a text from Sarah asking me if I wanted bacon for breakfast in the morning. I guess that meant I was officially invited for breakfast at their house. I called them up and we discussed what they needed before I went out to the store. I ended up buying eggs, bacon, and two flavors of Jimmy Dean sausage. I really wanted the "hot" variety, but I settled for two others instead. I also bought two bottles of champagne--One for their house and one to take over to mom's later.

When I stopped by their house to drop the stuff off, I got their furnace going again. There's a persnickety part in it that has been "dying" for a couple years, but never replaced yet. She has determined that it is finally time to get it done and has contacted the furnace people (non emergency regular scheduling). At any rate, I got their house nice and warm for them, then hung out with Sarah and helped her wrap her mom's presents. I also did a little troubleshooting on Teresa's computer. I died during a power spike in a storm, and as I thought, the power supply was toasted. I'll take one over today if I remember to. I'm pretty sure I've got a couple of them around here. Anyway, I also got fed while I was there too, which is always appreciated.

So here it is... Christmas day. Yawn.

The 4-Day Christmas Weekend!

Yesterday I decided I was going to ride the Harley to work. The weather report showed a pretty good day for a change. I made sure everything was flowing smoothing and I could find all my riding gear (after all, it had been over a month since I had ridden last). I also had myself leaving for work about 10 minutes early to account for any "just in case" things that seem to happen when I ride the Harley. Yesterday was no exception. I had checked pretty much everything except the Harley itself.

It didn't start.

When it sits quite a while, you have to grind on it a little longer, alternating tries with choke on or off each time. By the time the engine started to burp and cough itself to life, the battery was dead. I sighed and pushed it back into the garage. See, that's why I always have to start earlier when I ride the Harley. You just never know.

The day at work was pretty good. I did my usual press operation, and as usual on my last day before Christmas, I wore my Santa hat all day. I also had on my Harley t-shirt with the Santa on it. Elaine wore her lighted reindeer antlers that she wears ever year as well. We were the only two with Christmas spirit as usual. Our employee Christmas gift this year was a Fletcher's Black Forest ham. I liked that. I was hoping we wouldn't get a tin of cookies like we have a few times in the past. We got a spiral cut ham last year, and I was hoping it would be that good this time. Close enough. A ham to a single guy is a good thing!

My down comforter showed up yesterday. That was the one I ordered from Amazon a while back. I guess it was good that I didn't ride the Harley after all eh? It wouldn't have mattered--I just would have left it to take home the next time I drove the car to work. I tried it out last night. It's a pretty nice comforter--Well made, comfortable and soft--But not overly warm. I guess that's okay... It never gets really cold to need an ass-kicking comforter, and this way I can use it longer throughout the year. I did sort of expect a little more warmth though. It doesn't seem any warmer than the cheapie 95% feather/5% down one that I already had, but it's a lot nicer and better made. Now I have one for each bed.

Thursday I got the jacket for Sarah that I ordered from Nordstrom's that I wrote about. The one they sent via overnight shipping. I didn't take it out of the package, but it sure looks the same as the one I bought in the store... That whole thing was a weird experience. I guess I'll just wrap one of them and then bring the other one out when she opens it, explaining that she gets to choose.

I hit a couple of stores on the way home from work last night, looking for nothing in particular, and found (yes, you guessed it) nothing in particular. I did manage to come out well when I stopped for beer though. I bought a new one to try called Blue Moon, and I loved it! I may have to push that to the top of my favorites list. I also bought a half case of Foster's lager. That's that Australian beer than usually comes in the giant cans like motor oil used to.

I went out last night at about 8 and bought my parents a copy of the first season of My Name is Earl. I know they'll like the humor, but I don't think they've ever seen the show. Each time I ever mentioned it, they said they didn't see it because they watched the John Ratzenberger show, "Made in America" instead.

Well, what's going to happen this weekend remains to be seen really. I've got a lot to do, but I want to have fun too. I think I want Sarah in on as much as possible. I think I'll see if we can do the gingerbread house kit this afternoon. Maybe a pizza too.

The Poet... At it Again...

I was in the poetry mood again, but this time was a little different. I usually do my rhymes on the "two line" system, meaning every two lines rhyme, and each pair is a verse. This time I thought I'd try my hand at 4-line verses, meaning every other line rhymes. I'll tell you, it's a lot harder than it looks. This poem took me two days to complete. I hope you like it. Especially you, Melinda... After all, it's for you!

Ode to a Cousin

Melinda, whom I love so dearly
cousin since my day of birth;
Our meetings then were at best, yearly
I never knew your friendship's worth.

Your pictures graced my grandpa's wall,
both yours and sister Jan.
When I went near they seemed to call
so there I'd stop and stand.

I remember that I'd stop and gaze
any time I could
I'll bet I could have stayed for days
transfixed, right where I stood.

I was so in awe of you
whenever you were here,
I always felt self-conscious
whenever you were near.

The times you guys came up
to visit were so few,
that each for me was awkward
like I had only just met you.

Algona, where I lived and grew
was "no-wheres-ville" to me;
I longed for Southern Cal with you
where tanned I'd always be.

"Where the Action Is" and "Bandstand"
I watched them on TV.
I'd dream of California sand
and in those thoughts you'd be.

You were older than me back then
and so cool in every way,
I'd try to memorize the things you'd do
and everything you'd say.

Now that many years have passed
and our ages finally touch,
I can truly say at last
that I love you very much!

Ricky

Christmas Spirit is Trickling In...

... But it's coming with a little frustration too.

I ordered a nice item for Sarah online from Nordstrom's a week or so ago. I was feeling pretty good about myself--Free shipping right to my door... yada yada. Well, the order status showed "Item is backordered. Estimated ship date December 19." Well, December 19th came and went with no change, so I got online this morning and went to the "live chat" feature to talk to a person about it. She did some checking and assured me that there were none of these items in Washington State, and because of the backorder status, they were not due to be shipped until late January. I don't mind telling you, I was pissed. I held it back though and was courteous to her as she was to me. After all, Sarah has a birthday coming up in late January, so maybe I could use it for that or cancel it if I chose to. Besides, there are still a few shopping days... No sense in getting too worked up about it.

After work today I went to Southcenter mall to do a little walk-through of the Nordstrom's store there just for the hell of it. Imagine my surprise when I found what I was looking for on the rack! Not one, but 3 or 4 in each size. Things were "clicking" and I was feeling good.

I drove home in the typical rush hour traffic feeling pretty good about having made the "key" purchase of the season, and listened to Christmas music all the way home.

When I got home, I got online to cancel my order. Imagine my surprise (yeah, I'm getting tired of imagining my surprise too) when I see, "order shipped" on my status, with a DHL tracking number. WTF? I got on the "live chat" thing again to see if I could make sense of it. After the nice lady spent a while checking, she determined that they evidently had a different UPC for whatever reason, and it was possible that there were actually subtle differences in the two jackets. She offered to cancel the shipped order and recall it back to the warehouse, but I opted to let it be delivered. This way Sarah will have a choice. Isn't that frustrating though? I went from "nothing delivered until late January" to owning two of them... All in 12 hours! At least it's Nordstrom's--They have an impeccable exchange/refund policy.

One other thing I did the other day that I forgot to mention. I did a little philanthropy of sorts. I went over to the Auburn High School (yes, that's my alma mater) and gave the music department my alto saxophone. My alto sax served me well during my school years, but was never a very good quality instrument to begin with, and I doubted that I would have ever gotten any decent price for it if I sold it. I decided that I would ask the band director there about whether or not they could use it. He was elated, "Of course! We'd love to have it!" I felt like it would be best served that way because I know there are always kids that have musical talent and come from poor homes, and he concurred. This gives them an instrument to loan to students that have a need. I wanted Sarah to see the whole thing, so I had her along with me too. I have no idea what she got from it, but it felt good to me.

I love to be able to do stuff like that!

Feeling Unplugged

I'm still not feeling the Christmas spirit.

I've started listening to 106.9 FM here locally this week because they're playing nothing but Christmas music, and it does seem to help a little. It helps, but I'm still not feeling quite right. I think the reason I can't quite put my finger on the reason for my state of mind is that it's because of a combination of things. I think what I wrote in my little poem the other day still holds true. I evidently missed the free concerts the Auburn School District puts on at this time every year. They do concert band, jazz band, orchestra, and choral concerts that are all holiday music. I missed them all.

Saturday I finally got rid of all that computer stuff that I sold on Ebay, so that cleared my living room back up to it's former barren self. That netted me about 90 bucks. The guy drove down from Everett to get it all. He would have been down sooner but for the weather we had on Thursday night. I couldn't fault him for that.

While I was waiting for him I boxed up the items I had to send down to LA to Mark, Dana, & Emma. They were, of course, wrapped and ready to just take out of the box and put under the Christmas tree when they get there. I managed to make it to the post office and get them mailed well before they closed, so that was one weight off my shoulders.

Sarah and I went out shopping last night for one of her friends. Her group of friends at school drew names and did a give exchange (actually it's taking place tonight) so she wanted to know if I would take her out shopping. We had a good time, but we ended up right back across the street from me here at Fred Meyer and bought her friend a gingerbread house kit.

I told Sarah I tried to get hold of her on Saturday because I wanted to build one of those with her, but she was out somewhere. We've done those in the past and she loves it and she definitely wants to do it again, so we'll get together some time in the next few days to do that. Today was her last day of school, so because I don't have to pick her up after school the rest of the week (or next week) I'm free to do shopping on the way home from work. Who knows, I may even decide to ride the poor old Harley to work. It feels so neglected.

I'm a little nervous about present delivery. The "big" item I bought for Sarah was back ordered. They expected it to ship on the 19th (today) but evidently it hasn't. I fear that because of Christmas' proximity to this weekend, I was cutting it too close as it was, let alone having an item back ordered. I screwed that up, and it pisses me off. Even if it does ship, I'm having it sent to work, and that means I can't get it on Saturday should they try deliver it then. If it does ship, I'll try to intercept it at the shipping place so it doesn't even go out on a truck. But still... It needs to ship first, and it's not moving yet. Dammit.

That's just the kind of thing that I don't need to happen right now. I need everything to go smoothly. No wonder people drink so much during the holiday season...

The Holiday Season - In Rhyme

I felt the need to do
a little poetry again.

It's a bit of the Christmas
season melancholy:

The holiday season we hold so dear
feels very, very odd this year.

My lack of lights and Christmas tree
could be the problem... Possibly.

My home is a quiet, empty house
without my daughter or nagging spouse.

No endless loop of Christmas songs
playing over and over, all day long.

No fighting over what to see
when Christmas specials are on TV.

Party invites never seem to be
when they're all couples and I'm only me.

But what if all these things I've missed
are actually my Christmas list?

Ricky

What a Night...

It's not every night a person has to sleep in the guest bed... With earplugs!

Let me start at the beginning.

I picked Sarah up from school, patiently waiting in the car while she tried to track down a teacher for some homework help. After giving up, she came out and we headed down the hill. She had quite a bit of homework to do, and wanted to know if she could just do it at my house because I have cable Internet. We stopped by her house so she could pick up a couple things then headed over to my place.

Our area was about to get smacked hard by a fairly major windstorm, and by the time we got to my house it was picking up pretty good. She was upstairs doing her homework while I was downstairs reading a magazine. Occasionally the lights would flicker, reminding her to save her work as she went so she didn't lose it. At one point, there started a banging noise on my North wall. I went outside and found that the wind had pried part of my aluminum siding loose and was slapping it pretty good. I knew it would only get worse, and went to the garage to see if I could find my duct tape to anchor it with for the time being. After not finding it, I called my landlord and gave him the lowdown, and he assured me he'd be there within the hour. I wasn't so much concerned about the noise at that point--More concerned that the siding would come off and be ruined. I was just trying to save him some grief and expense. I also saw a few shingles off someones house fly through the backyard. At that point I carried my bbq grill to the garage for safekeeping.

After a couple hours (still no sign of Alan the landlord) Teresa called and asked me if I was going to bring Sarah home soon, adding that she had put dinner in the oven, hoping to beat the inevitable power outage that always happens where they live. A little bit later Sarah and I headed to her house. About halfway there it was apparent that Teresa didn't make it with her dinner... The whole area near their house was black.

I had Teresa get her half-cooked dinner and I took the both of them back to my house where she was able to finish her baked chicken/rice/veggies meal. I even let her finish watching the Seahawks game on TV (am I a nice guy or what?) that she was into when her power died. It was a good dinner.

Windstorms usually come and go in waves, and this one was no exception. Up until now, the wind had died down considerably, but now it was rearing its ugly head again. Now the siding had come loose even further. I made a halfhearted attempt to fix it short of actually nailing or drilling, and gave up. Teresa kept calling her house every half hour or so, listening for the sign of the answering machine to tell her that her power was back on. At about 9pm, Sarah went up and took a shower and washed her hair just in case she wouldn't be able to at home. Their power finally came on at about 9:30pm so I took them home.

When I came back home, I was tired and pissed. The siding was banging like hell outside and there was nothing I could do about it. There were about 3 or 4 runs of it loose now, and they were making a helluva noise. The problem was that they were directly outside of my bedroom. After deciding there was no way I was going to sleep in there, I took my alarm clock (which has a 9v battery backup) and I went to the guest bedroom, which is farther away from that outer wall. It was better, but not much. That noise was probably heard even by the other tenants. After lying there in bed for about 15 minutes or a half hour, I went to the garage and got some foam earplugs out of my toolbox and put them in.

Ahh... Peace finally. At first I was worried I wouldn't hear my alarm clock, but I figured that I usually wake up just before it goes off anyway. Fortunately, this time I was right. After I woke up this morning, I pulled out the plugs and lay there for a while--Assessing the noise. I could still hear plenty of wind, but not really any banging. I went and looked out the door and saw that the trouble had finally hit the ground. At least it didn't end up wrapped around some pole down the street or anything.

I sure hope it gets fixed today. I want to be able to have a normal evening tonight.

Surround Yourself With Good Friends!

What is there in life if you don't have friends? You can be the most successful businessman in the world, but if you don't have friends, you're nothing. How can people that are poor be so happy and so carefree--Seemingly oblivious to their financial situation?

Friends!

When I was working at Boeing, I worked directly across a cubicle wall from the sassiest, woman I have ever known. Dolores (or Dee as many of us call her) was a cutie that had a certain fire about her. She didn't take any shit from anybody. For such a short little gal, she could be quite intimidating. Not everyone got along with her, but I saw right through that tough gal act that she put on display. I saw a special lady. We were both laid off from Boeing back on the same day back in December of 2001, and I've kept tabs with her via email ever since. Dee, if you're reading this, I was SO happy to get a Christmas card from you! There's no way I could possibly imagine what kind a grief a person goes through to have kidneys fail, then to be years on a waiting list, hen to finally get one and have it try its damnedest to reject itself from you. When I got a Christmas card from Dee the other day, I was overwhelmed. I could see pain in your handwriting, Dee... It really meant a lot to me to get that card from you.

Then last night I got a call from my dear friend, Mary. I "met" Mary way, way back when we were both members of an Internet chat site. Chatting, although not new, wasn't anywhere near as mainstream as it is now, and we bounced many a topic off each other, eager to get other's inputs on various things. We have been in touch now for something like 5 years. Prior to life changes in both of our lives: Her marriage and my divorce. 5 years ago in "chat years" seems like ages ago in real life. So many things have passed under the bridge since then. Last night was very special though: It was the first time we had ever heard each others' voices! Isn't that wild? It's funny how someone that lives in South Carolina can seem almost like a family member, but yet whose voice had never been heard. Mary, that phone call was so cool... I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Truly special!

And Rhon... What would gushing about my special friends be if I didn't mention you? You and I have laughed and cried over many things. We've leaned on each other, shared trials and tribulations, compared failing marriage horror stories, gloated over our offspring's accomplishments, and consulted each other on so many things. All before we ever even met! It's so strangely cool to "meet" before you meet!

I'm talking about friendships. These are three of the nicest, most caring women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and all three of their scenarios are so different: I haven't seen Dee for 5 years, I've never met Mary face to face at all, and Rhonda lives far enough away from me to make meetings special, but close enough for them to be treasured and possible.

And I love you all!

The Art of Being Fickle...

... Lately applies to my posting (or lack thereof) in my blog. Sometimes I have multiple posts in one day, and seem to always at least have one post per day. Then there are other times, like lately. The last post I made was on the 5th, which was one week ago today.

I don't know if it's the gloomy time of year and the lack of sunlight, the impending weight of the holiday season, or what it is, but I just seem to have the doldrums. I can't get motivated to write. I have been spending a lot of time downloading and burning movies, and that could have a little bit to do with it too.

I put my Kaypro computers on EBay a week ago and the ad ended Sunday morning. Unfortunately, the only bid I got was the opening $100 bid. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but after all--They didn't cost me a dime. The buyer lives up North in Everett, but he still hasn't picked them up yet. I specified "local pickup only--Will not ship" in the auction because I didn't want to deal with packaging and shipping three 33.5 lb. computers and all their applicable crap.

I managed to get out and do a little Christmas shopping on Sunday. That morning I hurried out to buy a paper (or "pile of ads" as I called it to the lady at the counter) so I could make sure I wouldn't miss that "killer deal" on anything. I ended up at a few stores, but only ended up buying at a Barnes & Noble store. A little something for my granddaughter Emma and something for Sarah.

The last several days at work have been grimy and interesting. I've been blessed with the task of rebuilding a conveyor that carries scrap from the press that I run and dumps it into a scrap bin. Way back when they first got this press and got it going they "cob-jobbed" a conveyor together just to see if it would do the job. That was quite a few years ago. Due to the slow time of year, I got the bosses blessings to give it a complete overhaul. To me that means rethinking everything--Changing things and making them better. It will be finished today.

I was going to go out last night and hit up a Nordstrom's to buy something for Sarah, but I'm glad I did my research first online. I already researched the fact that nobody had it for sale for anything less than retail. I guess it's just one of those things that never seems to be on sale. Either that or my timing is wrong. Anyway, I thought I'd get online before I went out and braved the elements, to see what their return policy is. Well, it turns out that if you buy anything from Nordstrom's online, you can return or exchange it at one of their stores. That's what I wanted to hear. They also had a special deal going online with free shipping, so I did my order right there... Nice and dry while the wind and the rain pelted my windows.

I'm still not even close to being "out of the woods" on Christmas shopping, but I'm making progress.

Hopefully I'll get my blogging back on track, but what I really need a vacation to a sunny, tropical place. Yeah, that's what I need.

Time, Goals, Worry, and Frustration

I used to pride myself on the fact that I didn't worry about things.

I've concluded that I'm fooling myself. To make a statement like that, I would have to be the epitome of happy-go-lucky. I would have to be the person that is always smiling and bestowing happiness to everyone I meet. That's simply not me at all. What I've decided is that while I thought I was not a worrier, I am most certainly so. I just never worried about the same things that someone else was worrying about. That is a strange realization. Someone worries about something and you tell them, "Hey, don't worry about that--It just doesn't matter." In fact, it does matter to them, and it may matter very much... I just don't feel it. They do feel it, and there's no way I could possibly make an assessment like that when I'm not standing in their shoes.

The fact is I do worry, and most of it is self-inflicted.

I end up worrying way too much about things I never should have been worrying about in the first place. The reason I end up in that situation is because my desires and aspirations end up being higher than my actions. Although it sometimes means I'm being lazy, many times it's just a matter of something else catching my interest or attention, and my spending too much time at it. Before I know it, I've run out of time. It's strange how being a generally fickle person can cause "crossover" issues. Again, there I go worrying about it.

It's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here it is December 5th, formerly my wedding anniversary. Am I worried about that? No. What I do worry about is how close it is to Christmas. The days pass by so quickly and I worry about it. Here again is a case where my aspirations are higher than my realistic achievement score: I wanted so much to make a video of myself reading stories to send to my granddaughter, Emma. Not just "a video" but rather a complete DVD with a menu. My thoughts were to have a menu with a selection of story choices, each a story read aloud to the watcher. I didn't just want the camera to be on me while I was reading, I wanted it to be looking over my shoulder at the pages of the book while I read, with a shot of me every now and then sitting in the chair, all while still keeping the reading continuity. It sounds easy doesn't it? Well I thought it did too. When I started thinking more and more about it (read that "thinking" not "doing") I started worrying about the logistics of it. The fact is, it is not something that is currently part of my knowledge or ability. All the time I spent thinking about doing it, nothing got done. Then it switched to worry and frustration. Now it's December 5th and it's time I admit defeat once again like so many times before in my life. Now I've wasted so much time that I'm out of time. Now all I can do is be an average person and shop for a thoughtful gift and send it.

It's time for me to admit that I can't do anywhere near the amount of things that I want to do. If I learn to concentrate on the things that I can do, I won't worry anywhere near as much, and I may stop running out of time by spinning my mental wheels needlessly. I need to forget about things I want to do but can't do well (or maybe never have done at all), and instead concentrate on things I do do well. It's apparent that I just can't make time work for me. I guess that's why my one fantasy genie wish would be for more time.

I kinda feel bad that I even had the thought of Emma's story DVD now. It got my hopes up without my considering whether or not it was something I could actually pull off. I guess I'll be a typical relative that's a victim of distance and send something store-bought in the mail.

But I wanted so much more. I wanted to make an impact. I wanted.

Just Playing Mister Nice Guy Again

I took Sarah home from school yesterday, and while I was there I put up their Christmas lights. It's not like it's a hard job or anything though. Their house has a really low-pitched roof, and all you really have to do is walk around the edge and squat down, hanging the lights on the already-existing nails. As usual, there were a bunch of them that were burnt out too. Sarah counted 16 of them out of four 50-light strings. I really think this should be the last time they use those crappy lights. They are the big (c9?) size which are crappy-made and use tons of electricity. If it were me, I spring for the new LED lights. They look great and use hardly any juice at all, plus I doubt if they will ever burn out.

This weekend I stayed home for the most part. I did some cleaning and some laundry and stuff like that. I had Sarah and Teresa over for spaghetti and meatballs on Saturday. I never have to twist their arms to come for dinner. T will always come just because it's free and she doesn't have to cook, and Sarah just likes to come over period. It went well, but I wasn't overly pleased with how the meatballs came out. It's funny (NOT) how the simplest little ingredient can make such a difference. In this case it was the quality (or lack thereof) of the seasoned bread crumbs that I put in them. Last time I made them they were great, but this time not.

I bought myself a present on Sunday. Fred Meyer has a watch sale going on this week, and I finally went and bought myself a replacement for my aging Timex Datalink watch. That's the watch that stores a whole bunch of your personal information in it. The old one was in pretty sad shape. The main mode button had broken off, so it you wanted to use it you had to find yourself a paper clip. Other than that it worked fine. It had two limitations though: The data transfer method and the software/capacity of the data. The data transfer method was actually via a barcode flashing thing that the monitor did. You put both the computer and the watch in "transfer mode" and hit the button while holding the watch up in front of the monitor and it downloaded that way. When it first came out computer monitors were small and it worked great. Now that monitors are much larger, the data transfer is persnickety at best. Sometimes it works and sometimes not. The new watch does the same task via a USB cable. The software and capabilities of this watch are much, much better. I had to manually type all the info in though because the old version had no export capability.

I printed out my Christmas card mailing labels last night in anticipation of my Christmas cards arriving. I ordered them online and I'm hoping they'll show up today. I like to use computer labels because that gives me a physical "list" of names to use, and I know that way I don't miss anybody. It's also much faster and easier. It's sorta different this year, being "solo" like I am. In the past I had always had to put up with whatever cards T had in her pile of "discounted after Christmas sale crap" from the year(s) previous. I also had to always listen to how much of a waste of money sending out cards was.

Not any more.